Monday October 26th 2020

The Last Laugh: Sick to death of being terminal

We’re dying – all of us are, but some with a little more haste than others. We two who are writing this column have been given timelines which can be counted in months. Facing your own mortality raises several questions: how can I get one of those lovely Ghanaian coffin makers to fashion me one in the shape of a giant cock? What sort of contest can I organise for my friends to see who gets the playstation in my will? Does this mean I get a license to take medicinal marijuana? And – what will people remember us for?

We hope that some of you, at least, will remember The Last Laugh.

It’s been a while since we wrote here – in fact this is the first time this year. We’ve both been busy with work, one of us has a baby on the way, and the other of us has two children very much HERE and demanding a lot of attention. More than any of this though: we found that dying had become rather tedious.

The “how’re you doing” from friends tapered off, and there seemed nothing new under the son to be said. Old terminally ill people don’t die, they just continue to be terminally ill in a devastatingly wearying fashion.

But as we hurtle towards the fourth month of 2011, we decided that there was something wrong with the current state of affairs. You see: we ARE still dying. And becoming bored with that, well, that’s like forgetting to water your garden. It doesn’t get you anywhere. We were beginning to lose that edge, that urgency, that joie de vivre that only the looming presence of the grim reaper can truly offer you.

But we also lost the shock of death. We lost that harsh in your face gasping awfulness of death which keeps us on our toes, keeps us vigilant, keeps us fighting.

And so we turned to our new source of all humour, in the face of everything on the planet: Damn You Auto Correct. And we present the following death related typos to remind you, and us, that we are still here, and still laughing for dear life.

Rough Recuperation

Death by Douche

and our absolute favourite:

What not to say after grandma’s death

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